SOME SONGS BY
CERTAIN VICTORY:

"Three Hills"

For Becky

by Paul Lytle

Click here to download the mp3 of "Three Hills"

Then Jacob awoke from his sleep and said, "Surely the LORD is in this place, and I did not know it."

Genesis 28:16

Walking down that icy road
In Three Hills, Alberta
You got so far ahead, I laughed but felt alone
And I turned back soon enough
A little cold, a little rough
The feeling that I'd lost you chilled me to the bone

And now I laugh, and now I cry
And discover another year's gone by
Why didn't you turn to see?
And now I sometimes sit and sigh
I am seeing more than stars tonight
All along you tried to carry me

And you led your life at the time
I wanted more, I wanted mine
You said, "I miss you," and I turned away
And now all Glory's on my plate
Just as you wanted, only late
I wonder where you've gone today

And now I laugh, and now I pray
I followed; you were far away
What did it mean, what did it seem?
And now I sometimes sit and weep
I gave it all, what did I keep?
Sometimes it seems like a bad dream

And I am learning everything
Upon my path has meaning
It would mean so much if I could just catch up

Walking down that icy road
In Three Hills, Alberta

Just as I am, surrendering
Now my soul's bent, rendering,
Something closer to what He wants
But all along a woman stayed
From Three Hills she led the way
And I am following her lead

*          *          *

Heavenly Father, I recognize that you have moved the world just to make room for me to pass upon Your path. Thank you for the friends You have placed in my journey to help me. Bless them, Father, whether they still remain at my side or they have turned to follow their own paths. Amen.

Before I was a Christian, I had a sort of pen pal in Canada named Becky. She tried, at times, to convince me of God's love, but mostly she was just a good friend. I visited her once in Canada, and we wrote to each other for more than a year. In time, though, the e-mails lessened, and eventually stopped.

Recently, I unearthed those e-mails deep on my computer's hard drive. I was surprised and saddened by what I read. You see, Becky started writing more infrequently, and I eventually gave up on her and quit writing myself. What I had not remembered where her last e-mails to me. She pled for a response, truly trying to mend the relationship, and then, on her final e-mail, she ended with, "I miss you."

Reading it caused me to remember getting the e-mail. I remember that it made me weep, but my heart was hardened, and I ignored it. Life without God had weakened me, and I was depressed all the time. I would often interpret the slightest accidently snub for something more sinister. Likely, Becky had just been busy for a while, perhaps took me for granted, but I thought that she no longer cared for me.

I read more, and I realized how much she had been there for me in that time in my life. It was by far my darkest years, and yet she had stood by me. In my memory, I don't remember having any real friends at all during that period, but that hadn't been true. She had been there the whole time.

I am finally a Christian, and I am finally on the road to Christ, but I lost Becky along the way. I want her back. Above all I want her forgiveness. No, above all I want that friendship again. This time, I will be able to return it.

I miss her.

I miss her, but I praise God for putting her on my path, because I would not have made it through that time without her.

This song is not the song of a perfect man. You will find attitudes in the lyrics that are not terribly Christian. You will find mourning where there should be none. You will find pain in places that should be soothed. It is not the song of a perfect man because I am not perfect. This is honestly where I am upon the road to Christ. Rejoice in that which meets your approval, and pray for those parts that are not where they should be. I am still learning, and there is still much road before me.

I am not a perfect man, but I have a perfect Savior. Whatever growth I achieve is achieved through Him. Whatever understanding I have, I have in Him. Thankfully, He keeps putting people like Becky in my path. I do not understand it, nor do I need to. He is in control, and all things are working together for my good.

-Paul

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